Discipline

7.    “Habitually disciplining while angry”

                James 1: 19-20 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to                         speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

8.    “Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word”

9.    “Being inconsistent with discipline”

“Children ought to know that their parents’ ‘yes’ means ‘yes’ and their ‘no means ‘no.” (“Consistency between parents, and from day to day….”)

10.  “Having double standards”

Philippians 4:9 “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

11.  “Being legalistic” (Elevating “house rules” to the same level of culpability as God’s                                 commands….)

                “Whereas God’s Law may never be appealed, parental laws are appeasable.”

12.  “Not allowing enough freedom” (age appropriate)

“Common reasons that parents do not give their children enough freedom include: over protectiveness, insecurity, fear, unbiblical standards based on tradition rather than Scripture, inordinate desires to have perfect children, and inordinate concern for what others might think.”  Reward faithfulness with reasonable freedom and thereby motivate in your child a desire to be trusted by you. (paraphrase)

13.  “Allowing too much freedom”

Prov. 29:15 “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. 17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.”

Time

14.  “Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his “side of the story” seriously”

Prov. 18:13  “He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.  14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit? 15 The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 17 The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him. 19 A brother (child) offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

15.  “Not making the time “just to talk”

The most precious thing that you can give to your child is your time; time is life!

Relationships are impossible to build without communication.

Physical Abuse

16.  “Abusing him physically”

Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.”

Proverbs 14:17  “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of wicked intentions is hated.”

James 1:19  “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;  20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Speech

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.”

17.  “Not praising or encouraging your child”

14.  “Constantly finding fault”

                Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to                         overlook a transgression.”

19.  “Comparing them to others”

Compare him with where he was and with where he should be according to the Bible (Eph. 4:13-15; 2 Cor. 3:18; 2 Peter 1:3-12)

20.  “Scolding”

“If the parent is tempted to speak rapidly, or to multiply words without stopping to weigh them, or to show an excited state of feeling, the parent’s first duty is to gain entire self-control.”  H.C. Trumbull (1891)

21.  “Chastening in front of others”

Public humiliation will build a wall of resentment.  Matthew 18:15  "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”

22.  “Mocking your child”

23.  “Ridiculing or name-calling”

Expectations

24.  “Unrealistic expectations”

Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”  A feeling of never “measuring up” to expectations can foster bitterness and discouragement in anyone!

25.  “Practicing favoritism”

                A feeling of being “the other child” can foster discouragement.

Parents, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)